things gone too worse

i was reading back to the last conversation v had...

and all that was so depressive,

he doesnt want me yet asks for the pics...
isnt its selfish i think...

wel i pray to Allah swt that help me to handle
this all in an islamic way...
and dont put me in his love so much that i start disobeying my Lord.

its ok for me....
let stop thinking about all this "love"
i think evil lies inside this love word.

ohkay!let me try to b patient..
sins are like this...its hard to get rid of them...

i longed for him ,....so what?
he said he lied to me and he wished for none...
im amazed...
so im nothing special to him just one of 100s,
he met in his life with.

its fine...
he said, u wil c u wil keep mailing me and i wont reply

and this is so true,
damn to time!
which  not passed quickly,...
it seems to me like a week has been passed since i didnt mail him
but when i count back its only a day...
...
his words are  proffing truth til now...

wel lets c what happens in future.

mother is not wel.
im depressed from her side..
so many hurdles ...with not a clear way to follow

may Allah swt removes this pain from mother
and gave her a longggggggggg healthy happy life
aameen sum aameen