all is well.....

im in  a great trial,

i dont know what to do,

this is very tough

mind is full of confusion,

yes get free now,

im not geting from where to start,
just an infinite space is there,

.................
.........
i know when he displeased on something then
there are just two ways of his mood geting back good again,
either to fulfiled he demanded for
or .......
when he thought its better to end the anger now,

no other way, u cant bring him back in mood by other ways,
i think...

i wanna sleep now,
or maybe not,
suddenly feel tired and then quickly feel energetic.

hope mother wil be well very very soon
inshaAllah taalah

m so contented from inside,
chttan is so nice lady,
looking very caring ,polite and loving,
so it doesnt matter at al if v failed to meet khudanakhwasta
for in both cases he wil be very happy inshaAllah
either me or she,
it wil b equal for him,

he said me once that everyone loves the same way,
i didnt believe it before,
but now when i look around and observed,
i realized its so true,
every one loves the same way ,
so any other girl wil like him the same way as i do,
so no difference,
just faces wil be different but emotions behind them
wil be same,

i wish him best of luck ,
just best of luck,
may his fate b very shiny just like the
most brightest star on the sky,
full of happiness of both world just like rainbow colors
and piety and joy that tragvel through out his life with him
just like the fragrance of flower.
aameen sum aameen
birahmatika ya-arhamurrahimeen.

the truth is this that,
there remains no more emotions in my heart
its just like emptyness,
the reason of my anxiet and bopolarity was
the thought of to marry some one else,
but im contented now,
inshaAllah it wil not happen ,
i strongly strongly strongly
believe on Allah swt ,
who never leaves even his sinful slaves.

what else to write ......
ok im not getting,...

life turns very contented and peaceful
and calm
when one realize the power of Allah swt
and start trusting Him ,the all watcher
and most merciful towards his creatures,
for all the problems or matters  in life

O Allah swt! u r great!
no not great but greatest,
i dont worship u for u said it
but i worship u for u ought it,
its only u who ought to be worshipped
and who ought to b a God,
one and only God,
for u r not needy of anything,
Omnipotent ,great,
One and Only one,
i want u and love u
and i wish that
u may soon call back to u ,
i mean to jannah
i dont want to go to hell ,
for i meet devil daily ,
i dont want anymore to meet with him in hereafter in hell,
i dont miss him,
i only miss You, just you.
long departure is there,
i have been away from u for about 24 years
a decay!
wanna come back to u ,
in a way that u wil be pleased from me and i wil b pleased from u .
i know my love for u is so full of corouption
i disobey u while i claim i love u ,
but since u r Great!
so please forgive me ,
forgive this ignoble slave of urs
Please.......
i beg to You,
and comes to you while my tears have dried out,
and i find nothing precious to bring in ur court,
what all i have is just ur mercy
and also ...
ur Beloved's ummah is in such a meloncholic condition
i dont wanna b a spectator ,
watching al this tyranny silently
i cant and i dont want ......
...
O My Greatest Allah swt ...
gives health and long life to my parents...
and make my a.tr's life full of joy and imaan
and my siblings too
aameen sum aameen .