what!.......

kuch likhna that mager ab  bhool gaye,

i dont understand y its so ...

when u think to write something,endless thoughts starts coming

but when u sit down to write ,nothing u get.

need to massage my own hands and arms,

feeling ache in them now, 

and in the wound too.
wish i were have bakers like wel built arms,
so they never get tired of massage,
i think in getting weak from inside  

awh! u mean  old soul!..
but im so happy with it for he used to say he is old,
and i wish to b exactly like him.
i wish to be 32, i dont want to 24 , but.... :(
not in my hands...

wish my mother be sooo well and fully healthy 

before going back

i dont want to go back with mother's same condition.

wish she be fully cheery and healthy on way back.

"agay ati thi halay dil pay hassi

ab kisi baat pay nahi aati"

y silence is increasing inside?

it seems like im geting more and more

mature and serious from inside,

i just wonder about my LORD,

i m nothing special for him,

just an ordinary slave of him,

not special at all.

i wish i were so much special to Him,

i wish that there existed none except me ,

apart from his Prophets p.b.u.h. so 

i were special to him,

i cant b special to him now,

for many many many pious and good muslims exists in the world

sacrificing their love, their property ,their lusts 

and everything.

i need 100 lives to reach that level.

i know aser namaz is getting late,

but 

"mera dil to hay sanam ashna 

mujhay kiya milay ga namaz may,"

aumm

ok let me not b disappointed

i think this verse is not right,

only kaffir get disappoint from Allah swt

not a muslim.

for Allah swt's mercy remains there

even after the greatest sin that a person can ever atone.

his mercy make me cry ,

make me feel bad towards me,

kissi kay ahsan per tou banda or uski khushi ka khiyal rekhta hay,

mager hum Allah swt k ahsan per aisa nahi kertay,

v humans r just so ungrateful

may Allah swt just look at his mercy,

and not our sins ,which surly cant harm him,

every one good or bad deed is just for his/her own self,

people do good just for themselves,

and likewise their evil deeds are for themselves too

khair choro,

philhal baat kuch or hay dil may,

yaarr!! im so fed up,

so much,

i want to be a servant at khana kaaba

i just want to depart myself from worldy activities

Lord care for his ibaads more than any one else,

shayes kisi ki bhi khwaish nahi rahi,

zindagi tanha , logon ki khidmet may guzarna zyada acha hay,

i think!

i know, dont tel me ,

k mera meter aisay tabhi ghumta hay or

tabhi i start talking like this 

jub

i miss him

but no use

nobody suppose to live with u forever

nobody

even ur soul leave u at the time of departure from the world.

i m gonna cry now,

for i dont understand y this all happend

this must not happened

i wil keep regretting this for the rest of my life

ahhha!but no use to cry over split milk now.

pray for the best now.

but......

life!..........

ok ok,let me not start "showering" my "philosophy" again.

i noticed now almost all people are soo found of ....

sharing their "golden wise philosophy" with other

no matter how much other are yawing

:)

now dats the reason for coming here

and writing all...

i mean i start writing with a heavy heart

but til reaching the end,,......

oye! sab burden yek dam ghaib 

:)

queer life!

Long live my sweet mother!
aameen