we left our grief to God...

u know what!

if i were a thief, & thefting were halal in islam

i would then broke into his home
& would have stolen all of  his cigarettes ,

each & every single cigarette ,placed on ,in ,under or behind anything.

but what i would do with those cigarets.....
ummm
wel i would throw them away in garbage or drain them away,

ah! i just wish sooo much that he may quit smoking, aameeeeeeeeeen
i become so much sad thinking about the harm the cigrete caused to his health

if v can do it,then i would fix my lungs in his body ,so it would be my lungs geting destroyed & not his,then when they expire i would give him back his own original healthy lungs...

hey stop! would i die then because of suffocation ,
but whos gonna miss him if i die....
Lol!
:)

ok dont tel me , for i  know i have talked til now quite stupidly or lunaticly .
oh !lunaticly !is this new term !, umm let me use like a lunatic

ok ok now stop it stop it,
u have talked quite stupidly, no more foolishness,
grow up lady! live in the real world ,not the fantasy /magical world.

but!.....

i miss him ...

i feel sometimes very bad for myself,
it just seems o me like its only me teasing his ways,
and bothering him.

do i bother everyone.....
i dont know ,but its not my fault,
for the only thing i can do for other is just to die
but suicide is haram ,right!

cant we ever meet....
but i read that if someone wishes for something so much then he get it  must.
.....
what if i were never been into this world...

do i act cheaply like 1000 of girls?...
am i not a good girl any more?...
what if i had to marry some one else?...
why that happened with us we never wish for?...
life! is it easy to survive or death!is it easy to die?
i said no for both,
not easy to live nor easy to die...

only pious people have the right to survive
& only they can live happily & contented in both world.

otherwise the people like me keep wandering in the barren land of heart.
ramzan about to come, havent prepared anything..
all siblings so good...none is a sinner like me...
my sisters so good, i wish & pray so much for my younger sisters to never fell in love with any man aameen sum aameen, it just destroys life badly , make u unable to keep moving forward with enthusiasm.

bus pata nahi kiyon....laikin najany q dil udas hojata hay aik dam,
youn jaisay hawa diyye ko bhuja daiti hay...

dil hi to hay na sango khisht,
dard say bher na aye kiyon.....

i never wish to forget him nor want him to forget me,

but i dont like either the kind of love prevailing in the society
i dont wish to be a part of it.
 i wish to keep the love very pure
pure from any vulgarity or disobedience of Allah swt,very sacred.
but dont know how,for i loving a na-mehram itself a sin.
but i stil wish to find some way for a sin-free love with him.
but how? i dont know
maybe the same way we are acting now, i mean that
very less mails among us but v both remember each other( maybe hes not)

but sometimes i do think that likings for him make me close to Allah swt,
ah! i so much wish that he might b my mehram , i would please my Allah swt soooo much by pleasing him ,by giving him all the happiness i could give, by being a veryyyyyyy good , faithful,loving & veryyyyyyyyyy caring w... oopss going soo far. but cant i be any of his thing,
i wish to be his cigarette :(
opps am i getting back on the track of stupidity ...

hey!! y its so hard to keep being serious......

oh, i just remember my old bad time when i realy got serious for all time & was so much thinking about suicide but thanks to Allah swt that he supported me & (i managed to contact him again . ^_^ ) stopped me from a totally haram death.may Allah swt save in future too , aameen & all the muslims too from this aameen sum aameen.

there is no doubt in it that the reason which became the cause of my return to life was he,
i just thank him deep down inside for being with me all the time when i was so much suffering from bipolarity
,its just he whose encouraging & trusting words brought me back to life ,& sure all thanks to Allah swt.

may Allah swt reward him in the best of way , & make his life full of blessings & happiness & cheers , & not a single grief  ever touch him in both world, & he enjoy the best of life+hereafter ,got marry with a veryyyyyyyyyyy good muslimah who filled his life with all the ecstasy .
aameen sum aameen
birahmatika ya arrhamurrahimeen

& yes ,he may have lots & lots of cute ,beautiful ,obedient pious ,genius , brave, God-fearing offspring, aameeeen. ( hope he is not reading this ^_^ )

wish him best of luck,
....just wish .............

jinsay mil na paya may is jahan may,
roh ben ker milon ga unsay asman pay,
k piyar is dherti pay farishton say ho nahi sakta...

  *~ *~       *~             *~

Time passes by stealing us away, with no memory and no remembrance
The concerns of life occupy us, take us and drive us away
Suddenly the past comes back
Cutting the thread of my thoughts
reminding me of our talks, our gatherings and our nights
I place my cheek on my left hand
Raising my hands to The Creator (praying)
How I wish the time that drove us apart will gather us and bring us closer
I don't know if you're aware
Or you're not aware
I wish the time that maddened us will please us
You shall call on me
and I shall call on you
I'll ask why did you leave
and you'll ask why did I not come
We shall meet with our loved ones
Spending the night in joy
We will draw the portrait of the past on the slipping star of the sky
Framing it with our wishes
And sealing it with our names
The wing of love is directing the ship
And hope is the mast
A memory is the Ship-master
And the twists of destiny is the Shore
We left our grief to God
And our tears are no longer running
And the time that made us weep
Is no longer making us weep

.....

            *~       *~          *~