if i were....

oh no! he didnt send any mail

im soooo

sooooo

oh yes angry

:)

wel ,let me keep waitig

i wonder if he read all this or not,

sometimes i do wish alot he may,but sometimes i wish may not

"something lies beyond the golden sun

something shines very bright there

looking up in the starry night

i wonder...

if he looking at stars too.........

..............

....

i understand now,
how relations begins like a tiny seed of grain
very slowly & unnoticeable
& then grows up in to the tallest tree

.....

i wonder how my life would be if all this didn't happen,
maybe so much full of happiness

i just wonder if i ever be able o like some on e again
with same enthusiasm again,
in realty, i don't wish to like any one else again with same
enthusiasm,
first love is sure i think the strongest & unforgettable feeling on earth

i just wish sometimes...
if none of this feeling ever exist on earth,
how beautiful the world would be then....
careless,free ,full of cheers with no tension of beloved displeasure, no captivity ,just freedom from any emotional bondage,
ah!but too late now for all this

once the heart got trapped none can free it ,
and i think the person himself dont wish to b freed ,

last night i was thinking about how all this started,
i remembered that i started liking him since the very beginning,
while i was massaging my mom's head last night, my mind was fully possessed by a stream of thoughts,

there were time when i had silent likings for him,
each day i anxiously waited for the chat time,
all day long i kept thinking of what to chat him about,

and there came time too when he understood my immense love for him,
then family get involved
& then .........
that happend which i dont wanna think again,
for its full of meloncholic

all these thoughts put me in tears
& like always ,all the thoughts ended up on praying for his well-being for ever & ever
when i sighed & make it confirm ,"WE CANT MEET"

but am i not sillyy!!
i mean that im not ready to giveup, or to loose hope
even after loosing hope i wish for him
sooo much with all the blessings

i sometimes think,maybe some miracle happend & v meet
but let me not be so hopefull
for miracles happens less in this world

let me keep liking him , very secretly to all, for ever
let me hope that v wil meet in eternity

let me bear his missing in this mortal world with the hoe of for ever meeting in the eternal world,

let me be a good servent of Allah swt
so HE may fullfilled my wish & make us to meet in eternity,

i just wish to die very soon on iman,
i wish to wait for him in the high heavens of paradise,

wish for him a very long,happy healthy life with full of blessings & best of iman
& a shinny hereafter,
wish same for his family too,
wish may the families of both of us met each other too in paradise,
aameen sum aameen


i wil complain there with my mother for not letting us meet in the world,

 hahaha  ,
(but who knows if v meet with blessings in the world!if Allah swt wills)

im i not stupid, i started laughing even if im tense,

wel ,this is called life :)
u have to live it or it wil never pass in other way,
u have to show others that u happy even if u r not,
u must keep smiling even if u want to cry aloud ,
for
there is no use of showing ur pain to other
for...
nobody understand it
and even if some one understands it
then still no use
for no one can help u any way nor can take aways ur grieve
it wil remain in it place as it is,
tel pains only to Allah swt for only he can understand & only he can remove the pain ,
for He is the most powerful & the only one Creator of the wholeeeeee universe...


wow!  i mean subhannallah how lovely he make the sky ,
just amazing, just look at all thise glitter he shattered in the earth's canopy .
just to make his ibaads happy,


how much HE love us
& look at me :( i dont love him the same way & disobey Him whenever i get a chance
but see His mercy! He dont seieze me right at the moment,
keep giving me chances to repent,
but look at me the sinner :(
im not happy with my sins life

i wish to b a nice & very obedient salve of Allah swt
not the transgress one.


"with only him i greed to forgive my sins on dooms day"


hey! i so much wish soooooooo much that
he may quit smoking
aameeeeeeen sum aameeeeen
birahmatika ya arrhaurrahimeen


if it were me smoking 7 he requested the same way i did to quit smoking then i think i would have quit it til now :)


okay getting late


have to prepare breakfast for mother,she got fever
may Allah swtr give her long healthy happy life
aameen sum aameen


Allah hafiz (umm kisko Allah hafiz,,...wel to  myself , yaqeenan :) )

subha hoti hay raat hoti hay
zindagi unhi tamam hoti hay.......


oo00oOOh.......


                      THe ENd          :)